All of your problems come from this one source than you can control.
Let’s say there is this alien object that no one has seen.
Would you please describe this alien object?
Is it big or is it small?
To answer that question, you would compare its size to you. If it’s bigger than you, it’s big. This comes reflexively because you have this thing called an EGO.
Your ego tells you that you are the most important thing in the world. Everything is compared to you.
This ego is the source of all your problems and it’s holding you back. Now here’s a list of people who have a certain thing in common.
- Mark Zuckerburg
- Warren Buffet
- Bill Gates
- Steve Jobs
- Richard Branson
What do they have in common?
All of these people have good control of their egos. Jobs was not extravagant in his spending money and his clothing choice was modest.
Ego is the source of all your problems. Isn’t that incredible? Just one thing. And the process of making problems go away, your ego, is doable. It’s not necessarily easy but it’s simple to think about it. You can’t avoid tragedies, but controlling your ego will make these a lot more manageable.
Here’s the big deal, if you only take one thing away from this blog, be it this, all of your problems in your life like your anxiety, stress, worries, and all of those things are bothering you because of your ego. You think you are important and that makes all your problems more important too. If you are not important, then all those problems that are bothering you are not important either.
But that’s not easy to do. We are designed by evolution for the individual to think he/she is the most important. We are designed to take care of ourselves first.
Let’s see an example. Think about an argument you have had with a friend, boyfriend/Girlfriend, or spouse. It’s all ego. Your ego is making you angry or sad. But you don’t see that because you are caught up in all the details. “I’m so mad at that person. He/She did not treat me with the respect I deserve. Dammit, the person I love isn’t treating me right in the ways I think are important.”
When you are in that situation, say to yourself, “I’m not that important. Maybe this person is acting and doing things for reasons that have nothing to do with me. I don’t know, but I’m not that important. ” You can apply this method to more than arguments. You can use this in the office or traffic or in stressful situations.
There is a Dale Carnegie course where you do embarrassing things until you just don’t care anymore. This will help you control your ego. You can also do a lot of things that fail. As long as some of them are successful, you can have a set of failures and successes to keep you humble. Here’s an idea, think of your ego as a tool.
Don’t get rid of your ego. Use it for confidence when you need to feel good about something. Lose it when it gets in the way and causes you stress, it makes you think you are more important than you are. Your ego is a tool. You control your ego, it does not control you.
Imagine there’s a nip in the air and it’s trash day but you woke up late and you are responsible for the trash. You quickly run outside to take care of it. A dozen joggers come by and see you completely in your underwear. And you feel all embarrassed and cold, and you don’t wanna see anybody. Well think about this. “I’m not that important. All of these things are bothering something that’s not important.” If you take that to heart, you won’t be embarrassed. Sure, maybe those joggers will judge you, but they have egos that tell them they are the most important person. They’ll forget about you. You go to an open mic and you see someone who embarrasses himself, sure you might chuckle. You won’t remember because you are busy with your life.
Think about the president. He has the most insults coming his way than anyone else in the whole universe. Could you take the abuse he gets? Doesn’t bother him. He didn’t even get a haircut. But at the same time, he has a giant ego.
Remember this when you get angry or upset, maybe even sad, your ego is a tool that should not get in your way. This is not necessarily easy but it is simple. You can be a more powerful person dealing with tough situations.